Arizona

So on Monday I get a call from Chad saying, 'I had to bring my car into the shop again, can you come get me'. What I heard was, ' I had to bring in my big heap of junk car in so we can dump money into this bottomless pit I call a car.' Needless to say, i don't like the Saab. It has SO many problems. But I really don't think we would get too many buyers on it because of the problems, so we would need to fix a few to sell it. It is a neverending vicious cycle. So since I was 3/4 of the way to the zoo we decided to go. Lucky for you I did not have my camera so no pictures. We did learn a thing or two about Arizona while we were there. Did you know that there are 15 different species of rattlesnakes in the world and 11 of them can be found in Arizona? Bet you really want to come visit now. One of those we found on our front porch 2 years ago.

(I was not about to really get out there to check him out. So I had to zoom on the camera. I also did a little online editing of him so you could see him better)

Here is some more little tid-bits I have learned over the almost three years we have lived here.
-I good parking space is determined by shade not the distance to the store.
-Seat belts = branding irons. Unfortunately we have found this out the hard way.
-At 113 degrees you can successfully cook an egg on the sidewalk.
-Our state tree is called the Palo Verde. It literally means 'green stick'. I think they are weeds that someone let grow a little too long and wahla it turned into a tree. I am pretty sure I pulled this weed out of my backyard in UT. Never the less this is the little 'stick' of a tree I have to find shade to park under.

-It takes 75 years before a Saguaro cactus will shoot out an branch. It also will not blossom until it is between 50-60 years old, and the flower only opens for one day.

-When you turn on the cold water in the summer you have to let it run for a bit so it turns cold, not hot. Kind of the opposite of letting the hot water run to let it get hot.

Arizona Diary
May 15th: Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 108 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car, work in an air-conditioned office. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed two days of work; what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 25th: Dry heat, my butt. Hot is hot! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the A/C repairman charged $250 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,600 in house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

August 4th: 115 degrees! Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $1,200 and gets the temperature down to about 90. I hate this state.

August 8th: If another wise guy cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his throat out. Crappy heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and no deodorant works well enough!

August 10th: The weather report might as well be a dumb recording: Hot and Sunny. It's been too hot to sleep for two months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren desert? $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat.

August 14th: Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 120 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,600 house payment to bail me out of jail.

August 30th: Worst day of the summer. I'm not leaving the house. The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier. The car is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield. nobody told me about staying out of the washes during a "flash flood" warning. That does it. We're moving back to Utah and buying a house next to the freeway for some peace and quiet.

Now I leave you with a poem that really just sums it up here in especially here in the summer time.

Ah, Arizona!

The devil wanted a place on earth
Sort of a summer home
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Arizona
A place both wretched and rough
Where the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys hardened and tough.

He dried up the streams in the canyons
And ordered no rain to fall
He dried up the lakes in the valleys
Then baked and scorched it all.

Then over his barren country
He transplanted shrubs from hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear
The climate suited them well.

Now the home was much to his liking
But animal life, he had none.
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.

First he made the rattlesnake
With it's forked poisonous tongue.
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow it's young.

Then he made scorpions and lizards
And the ugly old horned toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.

Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,
Hotter and hotter still.
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old horned lizard took ill.

Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
As any creator would
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.

Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
So he took off his coat and vest.

"By Golly, " he finally panted,
"I did my job too well,
I'm going back to where I came from,
Arizona is hotter than Hell. "

Now when can we expect the vistors?